Mistakes
by RosaCantDraw
Summary: This is a 4x04 response fic. (So spoilers and stuff). It's been two months since Blaine and Kurt last saw each other. What will happen when they start talking again? Will things ever go back to normal?


So this started as an Omegle roleplay between me and Katie (it won't let me link her tumblr, but if you go on my Scarves&Coffee account - same penname - then it's on there). We needed to get our feels out and luckily we found each other to do that with so, that's good.

Enjoy the story and I apologise in advance (I sobbed whilst writing it, I don't know about Katie.)

* * *

**Blaine**

Kurt

* * *

**Kurt? –B  
Kurt, please answer me. –B  
I'm sorry. -B**

I don't know what you want me to say, Blaine. -K

**I just wanted to make sure you were okay. -B**

I've been better. -K

**I know I shouldn't have texted you. I know that. -B**

No, it's not that. Actually, seeing you texting me made me smile for a second. -K

**Really? -B**

**That's good, then. -B**

Well, until I remembered that I shouldn't be smiling at your texts like that anymore. This is so hard, Blaine. -K

**That's just what I was thinking. -B**

**I don't know what to do, Kurt. -B**

**I'd understand if you hated me. I hate me, too. -B**

I don't hate you, that's the awful part. I've _tried_ hating you, but I can't do it. -K

**I deserve to be hated. -B**

**I'm such a screw up. -B**

You don't. Blaine, everyone makes mistakes. It's understandable. And you did the right thing by telling me straight away...that was definitely the mature way to handle it. So, no, you don't deserve to be hated. You deserve someone who can make more time for you than I could. -K

**Stop. -B**

_**You**_** deserve someone who can be loyal. Someone who isn't such a wimp when it comes to these things. Someone who isn't me. –B**

Blaine, just shut up. Do you hear yourself? You were loyal, up until that one night. The _one_ time you made a mistake. You've done everything else right in this relationship. I'm the one that pushed you to do that. I'm the one who didn't make time for you. So hate me, not you. -K

**Please, Kurt. Please stop blaming this on yourself. You **_**know**_** that it isn't your fault. -B**

**Nothing ever goes right when I'm involved. It wasn't even just with you. -B**

It was my fault though, Blaine. At least partially. We're both at fault, equally. -K

Are you saying that our relationship was a mistake to you? -K

God, no, Kurt. That's the opposite of what I'm saying. -B

Our relationship was perfect. It made me feel complete, whole. I feel so empty now. So lost. -B

I'm saying that since _I_ was half of the relationship, it ended. I was involved. Everything I'm involved with ends badly. -B

Don't say it's not true. -B

But it's not true, Blaine. -K

I don't want this to be over. I'm not prepared for you to think this ended badly. -K

**It's just so hard. -B**

**It's hard to think that we're actually apart. You know what I mean? -B**

I don't want us to be. -K

**Kurt, you're in New York. You have a life. You're **_**happy**_**. -B**

**I have no right to just come in and ruin it all for you. -B**

Happy? You think I'm _happy_? Blaine, I'm miserable. -K

Sure, New York is amazing and so is working at Vogue...but that doesn't change the fact that I'm miserable here. -K

**Why are you miserable? You have Rachel, I'm sure she takes great care of you. And yes, Vogue, of course. -B**

**I'm sure you can find someone who can make you even happier than I ever did, Kurt. I know you can. -B**

Rachel's always off with Brody, or at the studios. -K

I could never find anyone who makes me happier than you do, Blaine. No one will ever come close. -K

**That isn't making any of this any easier. -B**

**Haven't you tried? -B**

**I'm not saying that I have. I can't. -B**

I've tried to try...but I can't either. –K

What are we doing, Blaine? We obviously miss each other. I can't stand being apart from you. -K

I can't sleep, I can't eat and everything just seems like it doesn't have a point anymore. -K

**I don't know. -B**

**Can I see you? -B**

**Please, Kurt. -B**

**I have to. -B**

Yes. -K

Please. I miss you so much. -K

**I'm sorry, that wasn't right to ask. -B**

**I'm sorry. -B**

No, I want to see you. -K

I _need_ to see you. -K

**No you don't, Kurt. -B**

**It won't make you happy, seeing me so broken. -B**

**It'll just do the opposite. -B**

But I need you to know I still love you. -K

And seeing you will definitely be better than how I'm imagining you right now. -K

**I'll probably look **_**worse**_** than how you're imagining me. I guarantee you that much. -B**

**You love me? -B**

Of course I do. -K

**How? -B**

**I don't see how anyone could actually love **_**me**_**. -B**

Don't you dare think like that Blaine Anderson. –K

You are the most caring, passionate person I know. And the fact that you're _this_ beaten up over a mistake you've made just proves it. -K

**I'm more than beaten up, Kurt. I'm just really not okay. -B**

**No, no. I'll talk to you about all of this when I actually see you. -B**

**When am I able to visit? God, it feels weird saying that. -B**

As soon as you can. -K

I need to see you, Blaine. -K

I need to hold you, even if it's just for one last time. -K

**We can't keep pretending like nothing happened, Kurt. -B**

I'm not. -K

It happened, I'm well aware of this. -K

**Well, maybe you aren't pretending. -B**

**But you're acting like it's okay. -B**

**It's not. -B**

It's not okay either. -K

But I want it to be. Eventually. -K

I want you to stop blaming yourself for this. -K

**I can't. -B**

You have to. -K

For me. -K

**I'll be there tomorrow, okay? -B**

Okay. -K

I'm off work this week, so that works for me. -K

**How long will I be staying for? -B**

**One day is fine. Unless you'd like something else. It's up to you. -B**

As long as you can. -K

And don't even think about booking a hotel. -K

**Are you sure? -B**

**It's not a big deal. I know of a few good hotels. -B**

Of course I'm sure. -K

Besides, hotels in New York are kind of steep price-wise. -K

**Thank you, Kurt. -B**

**This really means a lot. -B**

**I can sleep on the couch. I'll keep everything clean. I'll even help with the new apartment. I promise. -B**

We, um, we still don't have a couch. -K

I can try and kick Rachel out for a few nights if your uncomfortable sharing my bed. -K

**No, it's okay. Of course it's okay. -B**

Okay good. -K

Is it inappropriate for me to tell you that I can't wait to see you? -K

Probably. -K

**I can't wait to see you either, Kurt. -B**

**I'm already nervous. -B**

Don't be nervous. –K

I'm still the same old Kurt. -K

**Exactly. -B**

**You're you. -B**

**How can't I be nervous? -B**

You know me, Blaine. -K

I shouldn't make you nervous. -K

**You're so strong, Kurt. -B**

**I look up to you. I wish I could **_**be**_** you. -B**

**It's nerve wracking, having you there next to me, you know? -B**

**It's so hard to believe that you love **_**me**_**, of all people. -B**

I'm only strong because you taught me to be. -K

You don't want to be me, at least not at the moment. -K

Of course I love you. You're you. -K

**You don't think I want you to be strong? That's all that I want. More than anything. -B**

**And yeah. Little old me. Whoop de do. -B**

Yes, Blaine, you are little. But you're huge to me. -K

You literally mean everything to me. -K

**I can't live with myself. I don't know how you can deal with me. -B**

It's easy to "deal with" someone when you love them. -K

**I don't know what to say. -B**

**That sounds really cliché, but it's the truth. -B**

Look, Blaine, I will never _ever_ stop loving you. -K

No matter what you do. And I need you to know that. -K

**Is it a bad thing that I'm crying right now? -B**

It's never a bad thing to show your feelings, Blaine. -K

**I wish you could be here. -B**

**It always helped when you could tell me things to make me feel better. -B**

What kind of things would I tell you? I'm sure you know them. -K

**Of course I know them. -B**

**What I mean is that I love hearing you **_**say**_** them to me. Just knowing that you were there. You know? -B**

Yeah, I know. -K

Well, tell them to me. Tell me what I'd say, so I know you know them. -K

**You'd say how much you love me. -B**

**You'd say that things would be okay. That you wouldn't let me go. -B**

Don't forget that I'd hug you so tightly that we'd have no idea where one of us ended and the other began. -K

**Kurt, stop. –B**

**Please. -B**

Sorry. -K

I really am. -K

**No. It's okay. -B**

**Like I said, it's just hard. -B**

It is. -K

I wish I was there with you. -K

**Tomorrow, right? -B**

Yeah. Tomorrow. -K

I want it to be sooner. -K

**I'll be there early. I promise. -B**

**We don't have school this week, remember? Christmas-time. -B**

**I would stay here with my family, but none of them care. They probably won't even realize I'm gone. -B**

Are things still bad at home? -K

**Worse than ever. -B**

Want to talk about it? -K

**Yes. Tomorrow. -B**

**That's the worst part about it, though. I have absolutely no one here to talk about anything with. -B**

**That's why I'm so broken. -B**

You can always talk to me, you know that. -K

**It's not the same when you're so far away. -B**

**Plus, I didn't know if I would be able to talk to you about it. But now that I know I can, hopefully I'll be fine after tomorrow. Hopefully is the key word. -B**

Blaine, I want you to know something. –K

Whenever things get bad at home, no matter what state our relationship is in, you can stay with me. -K

Or, if you can't leave Lima, then stay with my dad and Carole. They'll understand. -K

**I love you, Kurt. So much. -B**

**Without you, I honestly feel like I'd be dead. That's not a joke. -B**

**Thank you. -B**

I love you too. -K

That's why I want you to be happy. And if that means escaping your house for a while and just crashing with Rachel and I, then that's perfectly fine with me. -K

**I've needed to do that. Which is why I'm so excited. I finally get to get out of here. –B**

**It's a sad thing, though. Feeling like you have to 'get out' of your own home. Especially for Christmas. -B**

That place isn't really your 'home' though, Blaine. -K

Home is a safe place. A place where people treat you well. That's not your house. -K

That place is just a place where your parents live. -K

**My parents are supposed to be the people who love me the most, aren't they? -B**

**But you're right. That's not my home. -B**

**You're my home. -B**

Blaine...-K

**What? -B**

**You said that home is a safe place. You're the only safe place I have to go. -B**

I know. It just feels amazing and weird to hear you say it. -K

**Do you remember Margaret Thatcher Dog? The stuffed puppy you gave to me last year? -B**

Of course I remember, Blaine. Why? -K

**I'm holding her. -B**

**Really, really tightly. -B**

**She's kind of like a stress ball. Whenever I squeeze her, I think about you. I think about how we used to cuddle like that. It kind of calms me down. -B**

**Whenever my father gets mad, or things are bad here, I know I can always do that. -B**

You can. -K

I do that sometimes. -K

Whenever things are tough at work, or Rachel's irritating me, I play with the Juicy Fruit ring you made me for Christmas. -K

**You kept my promise ring? -B**

Of course I did. -K

**I meant everything I said when I gave it to you. -B**

**Just know that. -B**

I know you did. -K

I'm still waiting to use the "Kiss me whenever and wherever I want" part. -K

**What about the cookies? Tell me you didn't forget about the cookies. -B**

I definitely didn't forget about the cookies. I'm just saving that one up. -K

**It's almost the end of the year. I've only baked you cookies once. -B**

**Looks like I'll be busy in your kitchen tomorrow, huh? -B**

You don't have to bake me cookies tomorrow, Blaine. -K

**I want to. -B**

**Christmas cookies. -B**

**Maybe you could help me. -B**

**It just sounds nice. -B**

And risk another food fight? -K

Think of my hair, Blaine. -K

**Why am I laughing so hard? -B**

**I haven't actually laughed in a while. -B**

**Thank you. -B**

Me neither. -K

That food fight was really something, huh? -K

**It really was. -B**

**Wow. -B**

**I really miss you. -B**

I really miss you too. -K

Remember what we did after the food fight? –K

**Of course. –B**

**But maybe you should remind me, in case I "forgot" –B**

I don't see how you could "forget" that... –K

**I guess not. –B**

**It was worth a try though, right? –B**

I guess so. –K

I can't believe it's been two months, Blaine. –K

I don't know if I can survive much longer. -K

**I know. -B**

**Until tomorrow? Just survive until then.-B**

**Goodnight, Kurt. -B**

Goodnight, Blaine. –K

I love you. –K

**I love you more. -B**

* * *

_Sooooooooo ..._In case you were wondering, I was roleplaying Kurt and Katie was Blaine.

I know different people have different opinions on how Kurt should react to Blaine after the break up, but this is my opinion. It doesn't necessarily mean that I think they'll get back together instantly, but they will at some point...Klaine is endgame so of course they will.

Another thing, is that I believe that you never ever stop loving someone. You always do, even if it's just a little bit. So I tried to use this in my portrayl of Kurt.

THERE IS MORE OF THIS STORY. IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS/WANT THE NEXT PART LEAVE IT IN A REVIEW.

**Reviews are love.**


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